💖How to have a Happy Marriage.

Communication is KEY!!

I want to start off by saying that there is NO perfect marriage. If you want to know how to have a perfect marriage, start by waking up! Marriage is a commitment between two people that love each other, that no matter what, will always fight for each other! Marriage is a TEAM, you two against all other matters. Can you have disagreements? Absolutely, but always keep in mind, do my words and do my actions help or hurt my partner? It takes two to make any relationship work. You and your partner need to have one common goal. How can I and we make it better for us?

Communication is number one in all relationships. Effective communication consists of two important components, talking and listening. You need to be able to effectively communicate with each other to express your own needs and wants. Even if those needs are different, both parties can help their partner have their needs met. When you feel like your needs are being met, doesn't that create a sense of security? Example, if your love language is physical touch and affection. Then express this to your partner, “I feel loved when you hug me, I feel loved when you hold my hand.” Now, it is up to your partner, to take that information and show you that they heard you by being more physical. Your partner may not do exactly what you want them to do from the start. Your partner may hold your hand while in the car but not grab your hand when you are in the store. That is ok! Take the small steps first before you take a giant leap. See that your partner is trying. You need to be appreciative that your partner heard you and your partner is trying. If someone feels appreciative, they tend to do more!!!

On the same token, listen to what your partners needs are. If they say, “the way you can help me is by giving me some time for myself when I get home”. Then by all means, try to give your partner some time and space. Just because your partner does not come home and hug you right away, does NOT mean that they do not love you. They could have had a rough day, and they need this time to decompress their own mind. Try not to take everything so personal. Many times, we get in our own heads on how our partners are feeling. We expect the worst in many situations and start mentally preparing ourselves for disappointment. It is a very unhealthy coping mechanism. We cannot continually expect our partners to fail. Eventually we will start looking at the relationship as a failure, rather than a growing experience.

All relationships, especially marriages, need two people who care enough for each other to help each other. If either partner is not listening to the other, than it creates tension and a void. Both parties need to be heard. If the void is not addressed and filled, then it grows, and it festers. No matter how difficult the conversation may be, effective communication is key to resolve any issue and move forward. Always remember, neither you nor your partner are mind readers. We cannot expect our partners to think for us. They may not even realize that you have a problem, or one of your needs are not being met. It is up to us, to take control of our own happiness. If you have a need that is not being met by your partner, then you need to take control and express that need to your partner. If you partner listens and in return, makes steps to satisfying your needs, then this is an effective way to communicate in a partnership.

Always remember, Love is a beautiful thing, run towards it, not from it.