The realistic newborn advice.

Parenting is the most fulfilling purpose in life, but it is also the most exhausting. I don't think of parenting as a job. It is a lifestyle, a joy, and the meaning of life. Now I know many of you out there feel the same way about your careers, and that's awesome. With that being said, the moment I found out that I was going to be a mom was the moment in my life that I knew who I was meant to be. I was made to be "Mom."

Is it all fairytales and rainbows? Hell no! I am nowhere near a perfect Pinterest mom. Honestly, that is an unrealistic expectation that social media puts on us, contributing to the mom guilt. Even Pinterest moms have struggles. They just don't post about it. But I am here to show you the good, the bad, and the downright ugly.

Let's start off with the beginning, newborns! Let me start off by saying I love the newborn phase!! They are so small, so innocent, so precious, and they haven't learned to backtalk yet. With that being said, they are completely and utterly dependent. Newborns can't do a single thing for themselves. They need you to distinguish and determine their needs for them. Some of you may be talented at this, and some not so much. We all know that one person that is the baby whisper, in our family, it is my grandmother.

For all of you first-time parents out there, don't worry. Clearly, if you found yourself reading this here, it shows that you are curious. You are looking for all of the parenting advice you can find. You will find some practical and some that you hope you live up to but won't. The best part of getting advice is you don't have to follow it. Funny coming from a mom that is trying to give you advice, but it's true. What may work for one might not work for all. I am just a regular mom trying to explain my own experiences in hopes you will get something out of it.

My husband is very hands-on, but even in the newborn stage, he was very timid. He would still change diapers and hold them, but even three kids in, you won't find him giving a newborn a bath. I am ok with that because I love doing it. It gives me even more time to bond with my little miracle, and I know what he lacks in the newborn phase, he makes up for once those little head-bobbers get a little more sturdy. So if one parent is more comfortable in this stage than the other, that is ok. Just because you are timid around newborns doesn't make you a bad parent.

Let's talk about those little newborns. Contrary to what marketing says, your newborn doesn't want the flashiest toys or the most beautiful crib set. Side note alert!!! DO NOT WASTE YOUR MONEY ON CRIB DECORATIONS!!!! It may look pretty for the nursey and Facebook, but it is dangerous to your new bundle of joy. Babies, especially newborns, should not have ANYTHING in their crib with them while they sleep. That means no pillows, no blankets, no toys, no bummers. For the crib, make sure you have a firm mattress with a fitted sheet, that is it, well and of course that sweet little baby too. What newborns really need are their basic needs met and to be showed love. Not material love, genuine nurturing love.

Remember back in high school or early college learning about psychological development? Maybe a man named Erikson? If not, crash course. Erikson is a famous psychologist that says we as humans go through psychological stages in life. Even as newborns, we need to basically complete these stages, and then we typically inquire a well-rounded physic, in a nutshell. The first stage is trust vs. mistrust. Typically this stage is from birth to 18 months, so the newborn/infant age. In this stage, the parent is responsible for the child's success. I know, this sounds like a lot of pressure, but just wait. Basically, all this stage is, if a parent can give the child a stable environment, then the child begins to trust the parent. If trust is formed, then the child is more likely to have trusting relationships. If the child is receiving inconsistent care, then the child develops anxiety. Can you imagine what anxiety must feel like to a newborn? Pretty scary, right? But we as parents can nurture our child by simply giving the child what it NEEDS, food, sleep, cleanliness, and love.

When we had our first child, we got everything under the sun for her. Her first Christmas was quite the show. She had two different baby seats, a swing, all the beautiful princess decorations, and enough outfits for ten kids. In the beginning, I changed her outfits two to three times a day just so she could wear all of her clothes. The amount of money that we spent on baby clothes is outrageous. Typically, with the firstborn, family and friends tend to give a lot of gifts. Even if you don't have others showering you with baby stuff, don't feel pressured into going out to spend all your money to stuff the closet. Newborns grow so fast. Most of the time, you never end up wearing all of the outfits. What I noticed when I went back to work and didn't have the time nor energy to play dress-up all day, it wasn't the fifty different outfits that brought her joy. It was me playing with her and giving her love and affection.

Stores, TV, Facebook, Pinterest, and society shove it down our throats that our children need current flashy expensive junk to be happy. Really, they don't need those material things at all. Trust me, a newborn is not going to care if their clothes come from the neighbor down the street or Macys. As long as it is clean and appropriate for the weather. THEY DON"T CARE!!! The best part, whether your child has brand new everything or hand-me-downs, doesn't determine what kind of parent you are.

Our first child was perfect in every way, just like everyone's little bundles. She was happy and loved to snuggle and sleep. I remember my father-in-law making jokes that he never saw her eyes because she was always sleeping when he came over. Don't let that fool you. I found myself many times getting frustrated because she would wake up in the middle of the night to eat or to snuggle, and this mama loves her sleep.

Next came our spunky fireball middle child. She was also a sweet baby. I found that she woke up in the middle of the night more than her sister did. But I started noticing something in me. I never got frustrated. I would just wake up, tend to her needs, and put her back to sleep. My husband would give me compliments, "you are so patient."

Then lastly, our little prince was born, and he again was a pretty easy-going baby. Our pediatrician even commented on how lucky we were. Although my babies were not colicky, they still had and have needs that had to be met every minute of every day. Every baby is different but generally, revolve around the same few needs. They are hungry, sleepy, got gas, need to be changed, lonely, or uncomfortable.

Babies' only form of communication is through crying. Their little cries can tell us as parents so much we just need to listen. If you pay close attention to their cries, soon you will be able to distinguish what they are telling you. Every little cry is different. Your gift from heaven can communicate if they are hungry, sleepy, missing you, or just needs to release some explosive baby gas.

My top two pieces of advice on newborns? Remember that this tiny little human that you created needs you. They are not spoiled or manipulative. They just simply need and want their parents. The second piece is just like a new friend, listen to your baby, get to know them. Even though they can not speak in words, they still can communicate with you. You just need to listen.

So relax. Ease your anxieties and worries. This new little tiny human that you got the privilege to bring into this world loves you from day one. They don't need all the best and shiny baby gear that just hit the market. They need you to be present and willing to learn about this new human and help them navigate this crazy and wild world.

I would love to hear your favorite piece of advice about newborns! Drop them in the comment section below!!!

So may your homes be filled with love and laughter and not toxins and chemicals.